I can't believe that I have been basically lying to myself for the past 5 months. I'm not over him but I can't tell you that. Obviously. I wish I didn't still have feelings for him. I wanna see him really bad. Just to hug him again and see how I feel. But the problem is that I want it to feel like it used to and I'm scared it won't. I feel like I'm the best actress in the world. It's like I've been acting our whole relationship. I don't think what we have is true love because if it was, I wouldn't be writing this because I wouldn't feel this way. I'm so happy that you don't know about this. That's be bad....
Fuck, I don't know what to do.
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