Couples

This is a rant because if I don't, I might start crying in public, again. So this needs to be done.

Cute couples...you know the kind. Those annoying, PDA, "omg I miss you so much I just can't wait to see you even though I just left your house", kind of couple. They drive me nuts right now.....why?! Because I'm jealous. I will come right out and say it straight up. I cannot stand them right now. Constantly texting and talking on the phone and being together. Driving me nuts!!
I want that. I want a bf. I want to not be fucked over by a boy that is like all the others. I want someone who is going to treat me like a princess. God! I can't deal with this anymore.
I miss my ex. It's killing me that we can't be together and can't see each other. Fml.
I just wanna cry! :'(

random..... :/

I just can't focus.  The words of my paper don't flow or make any sense for that matter.  Nothing is coming together.  So many thoughts running through my head but nothing wants to be spit out.  This is why I could never rap...I can't put thoughts onto paper, so how the fuck am I supposed to make them rhyme...or make any sense.

I can't believe I'm failing this class so bad.  English...again...of course. I feel so fucking stupid.  "Just do your work." everyone says....REALLY, easier said than done when you can't focus on one thing for longer than 10 fucking seconds.

Just realized, its a good thing we don't have to write a blog for school...I don't think I'd be able to do it without swearing...hahah FUCK.

This is one random ass blog.  If you're reading this...I'm sorry. I apoligize for this not making any sense what so ever.  Ya know, its not really a blog...it's basically me...spitting words onto page (there I go using the word 'spitting' again. ha!) and them not making any sense.

Brad Pitt is on the tv.....for a gay ass commercial for a Chanel perfume.  I wish I could afford any kind of designer.  I wanna be rich and famous.  People tell me that if I were famous I'd hate all of the paparrazi and rumors...honestly, I just want people to know my name...but not like Lindsey Lohan....ehhhh. (For the record, I just shuttered in disgusted.)

I wish I was like Hamilton (can't think of her first name) off Awkward.  Two guys fighting over me,  everyone knowing who I was, plus....you could hear my voice as I was writing this....

RANDOM ASS BLOG! i repeat again.

This makes no sense....I'm sorry.

HA!

That boy

That one boy who runs through your mind constantly. When your phone rings, you wish its him everytime, and when it is, you drop everything your doing just to text him back right away but then sit and wait for a response for two hours. That one boy that puts a smile on your face just looking at you. That one boy that your still in love with no matter how hard you try to get away. That one boy that no one comes close to being comparable. That one boy you miss with your whole heart.
That one boy you would do anything to get back.

Those days

Don't you just hate those days when nothing goes right and all you wanna do is lay in bed and cry? Ya, me too. But of course your scheduled to work right. So the thought of putting on your fake ass smile and acting like nothing is wrong just makes you want to cry even more. Then people are asking if you're Ohkayy and being all nice, but again...it just makes you want to cry.
Well, its one of those days...

What's the reason?

People always say "Everything Happens for a Reason." I am one of those people.  I truely believe that in life, everything does happen for a reason. But you always wonder, what is the reason??

Today, me and a close friend of mine got into a big fight. Over a rumor. That's not true, nor did I start it. Awesome, I know.  My "friend" is accusing me of telling people that her and her ex are hanging out and talking when she has a boyfriend. Which is false. Never told anyone. Cool I know.

Also, the guy in my life, who is all that is on my mind.  Last year we dated and I fell MADLY in love with him.  He made me feel like I was the only girl in the world and when I was with him, nothing else mattered.  Typical teenage girl in love.  But we didn't break up because of a fight, we broke up because of age.  20 yr olds APPARENTLY can't be with 16 yr olds.  Granted at that age, 4 years is alot; but, when I'm 18, he'll be 22....not exactly a big deal.  So his parents found out we were dating and decided that could not/ should not be happening.  So they made us end it.  After that, I ended up having his father as my gym teacher.  Lets just say his father knows a few...personal....things about me and his son. ;) ha. But anywho, I still love him. We still talk alot. I still get jealous when I know he's talking to other girls.  I would do ANYTHING to get him back. Down the road I'll probably understand everything that has happened much better. But for right now, I just want to know...

What's the reason for my pain???