Monday, October 28, 2013

Dug too deep

It's really hard when you've dug yourself so far into a hole that your not quite sure how to get out. 
I can't believe that I have been basically lying to myself for the past 5 months. I'm not over him but I can't tell you that. Obviously. I wish I didn't still have feelings for him. I wanna see him really bad. Just to hug him again and see how I feel.  But the problem is that I want it to feel like it used to and I'm scared it won't. I feel like I'm the best actress in the world. It's like I've been acting our whole relationship. I don't think what we have is true love because if it was, I wouldn't be writing this because I wouldn't feel this way. I'm so happy that you don't know about this. That's be bad....
Fuck, I don't know what to do. 

Monday, April 1, 2013

I thought I was 18?

Are you fucking kidding me?!
I'm 18 years old and you're going to take away my phone and wake me up at 6:25 on my LAST DAY OF WEEKEND just to clean my room?! WOW! It's a few clothes laying on my floor.  May I remind you that how in the fuck, am I supposed to finish a 6 page paper today AND go to work if I can't even FUCKING STAY AWAKE!!!!!! You guys bitch at me for not getting enough sleep, but when I come home ON TIME, and have shit to do the next day, YOU CAN'T EVEN LET ME SLEEP IN UNTIL 8 O'CLOCK?! OH YEAH, And I'm 18 years old.  I'd rather have you fucking kick me out! I'm so fucking tired of living here, it's UNBELIEVABLE!
You take me phone, I'm exhausted, all I wanna do is sleep, now I'm crying.
I'm going to be a fucking wreck today.  Probably get sick from being over tired, but YOU DON'T GIVE A FUCK UNLESS I GET MY ROOM CLEAN!

You have honestly hit top level ASSHOLE!

Fuck off.
I wanna move.
Goodbye.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Yolo

Dear people who say "hakuna matata",
If it means no worries, why do you care that people say yolo?!

Friday, February 15, 2013

Ewwww

Some boys are sooo repulsive.
They act all sweet and innocent toward you, then you have out with them, and they're a total douch!

Like this guy I hung out with last night.  For the past week he's been texting me and being so sweet. Callin me babe and tellin me how beautiful I am.  Kept telling me how amazing we'd be together and all of this other bull shit.  Then we hung out yesterday...
Here's what happened,
I walked into his place and handed him a Valentines Day present, balloons and candy, and he showed me where mine was...which was three half dead ugly pink colored roses and a white teddy bear....not cliche at all right? ohkayy, so we layed down on the couch and started watching tv. No big deal.  Then we started wrestling and I LIGHTLY punched him in the arm, in a very joking manner, then he pulls back and full forced punched me in the hip. Not a joking manner. I was like "owwww. That hurt" and he goes, "Oh you'll be fine." and hits me again.  I was like...OHKAYY ASSHOLE! (Didn't actually say that, definitely thought it though) After that I was pissed off, plus he's not very good looking and bleeeeh, ohkayy, so I became kind of a bitch after that.  I didn't cuddle with him, didn't really talk, I basically just sat on my phone the entire time.  So I texted one of my guy friends (yeah, we've hooked up. and he's been wanting to again. Funny part???? He's my exboyfriends friend! hah! whatever, I knew this guy loooong before I knew my exboyfriend) So after another half hour I'm like, "alright, I gotta go."
(This kid next to me in class, is starting at me, and being a fucking weirdo. ewwwwwww. he's gross. jk. He's pretty cool, kinda)
ANYWAY!,  so I left. 15 min later, he texted me and goes "Well that didn't go well." My response??? "HAHAHAHAHHAH" he goes "What?" and I said "Nothing," then he goes, "We done talking?" and I didn't want to be mean and be like "OMG! PLEEEEEASE!?" So I said, "If you want" and he goes, "Well I can tell your not interested" and again, I didn't want to be a bitch, so I just said "Sorry." Is that really mean?! I dunno.
So today I get to school and a girl in one of my classes who used to work with him told me that he's slept with like 87 girls, and he was going to keep going until he got to 100.
First of all I'd like to know, WHY WOULD 87 GIRLS SLEEP WITH THAT?! He's GROSSSSS! Like I thought he was cute and sweet until I met him.  Then I met him and all I could think was "bleeeeeeh" (just so everyone knows, that's a puking noise) But yeah. He's icky.
and Second, why on god's green earth would someone want to sleep with 100 people? That in and of itself is gross! like, 100! WTF!!! (Just asked that same kid if he'd want to do that, he said "no!" Wanna know why? "Because most of them would probably have std's" ohkayy! now he changed his answer, he said that "if they didn't have std's then he would") Alright, so maybe its a guy thing.
Even if I wouldn't get called a slut or a whore and I'd come out std free, I STILL wouldn't want to do it! Besides, most of them would probably be oober small and not be good and it would just be a waste of time.
Ohkayy, I'm off subject.
I think men are just gross. Maybe not all of them, but MOST of them.
KBye<3

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Real eyes, Realize, Real lies

Sometimes you need to wipe off that
Fake
smile. And start to use your
Real
eyes.

I know you want to believe his
Fake
stories but you need to
Real-
ize that this is wrong.

The other girl doesn't know
about this
Fake
relationship. But you've known
they were
Real
lies all along.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Couples; Update; Update

Well! I am going to give you another update.
He's a douche! Haha I got played a fool. He had a gf the whole time.
And the crazy part is he made ME feel like shit about having guy friends when he had a GIRLFRIEND the whole time we were together.
He called me fake because I didn't tell him that I had feelings for an ex. I'm pretty sure he is the fake one considering he was in another relationship.
Such a joke.
Fuck guys.
Time to live single and let the man come to me.
New me, here I come!